Look, I hate how Backgrounds are marginalized, it's a damn shame that they don't fit with some people's view about how the game should be played.
But this isn't a matter of saying people MUST roleplay. It's more that they SHOULD WANT TO ROLEPLAY. That's a base expectation of the game. I mean, look at the cover of the PHB:
Huh, imagine that. This is a game about roleplaying.
So I'm perfectly on board with the idea that, just as you have to use an action and a spell slot to cast a
magic missile that always hits, absolutely you should have to roleplay to use a background feature that always works.*
*Within reason, I mean, how much roleplay is involved in saying "I, a Con Artist, forge fake documents"?
What you seem to be pushing back against, Hussar, are small encounters that don't advance the game. If you're a goal-oriented DM or player, that's a perfectly cromulent thing to not care for- just like the 4e books said, sometimes it's ok to skip past uninteresting content.
But what is uninteresting varies. Some people really do feel more immersed when they have conversations with NPC's, even if those conversations don't advance the adventure, they can enhance the experience. In the "which ship" scenario, several of those options led to either side encounters or potential story hooks later in the campaign, and one option...didn't.
When I was playing in 4e, one of my favorite Skill Challenges involved us going through a forest, trying to avoid hobgoblins. At the outset, I wasn't sure why we were rolling, since we had a Ranger, and I figured, hey, this is his bag, I'm not a forest expert.
But it turned out that there was more going on than "avoid encounters with hobgoblins" (which, btw, wouldn't have led to more xp, since we got the same xp either way, it was more about conserving resources that would be spent by skirmishes with small groups of hobgoblins, and potentially getting the jump on them later). Because there was a secret objective we didn't know about, which led to a lost temple in the forest, guarded by undead.
We only found it due to sheer luck, and having done so, we ended up using resources anyways, but got some really nice treasure as a reward.
None of this had to do with advancing the adventure- we were always going to fight Hobgoblins. All that we were doing was figuring out what shape we would be in when we got there, and whether we'd have an advantage in the battle or not. But actually going through the motions, and uncovering a side encounter with a big payoff, did, in fact, matter to the campaign at large. I'm not saying this is how every game should be run- far from it! Every group has their own preferred pacing and style.
You want to complete the adventure and the campaign without steps you feel are unnecessary, fantastic.
But those "unnecessary" steps are like the deep cuts on albums that never get radio play. There can be hidden gems there, and some people can really enjoy the experience.
