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<blockquote data-quote="Willie the Duck" data-source="post: 9336360" data-attributes="member: 6799660"><p>I agree with the statements of others similar to 'if a group can't handle a little break, it isn't that cohesive to begin with.' However, social momentum is a thing, and if you take more than a few weeks off, people do find other things to do (and might not come back). As a suggestion in that regard -- most gaming groups have a number of shared secondary interests that they can explore for short periods of time. Board games, movie night (revisit all the movies that got you into fantasy gaming in the first place), dinner and a show, one-off sessions of other RPGs (maybe one of those 2 page indie games), etc. If a group can't handle 2-3 sessions of doing that, then yes it really never really was cohesive to begin with.</p><p></p><p>Or at the very least, it certainly is high time to say to this group, <em>'I've been saying this is unsustainable for years. <strong>Now</strong> is the time to take me seriously. I <strong>will</strong> be taking a break. There <strong>will </strong>be changes when I get back (or the group can die). Start discussing/negotiating which ones you are more or less willing to accept (note that 'none' is just a vote for the group dying).'</em> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We're not supposed to make things about the poster. However, I don't think it does the OP any good not to know that their ongoing saga is indistinguishable from 1) a kind of self-enforced trauma akin to codependency addiction/factitious disorders/etc., or 2) someone unwilling to give up a burden, even if they can't handle indefinitely, or 3) not wholly factual*. The demands are unending, the player's are universally unreasonable, no quarter is given, the behavior is toxic -- but every suggested solution is always a no-go.</p><p><em><span style="font-size: 10px">*not a productive road to go down, so we'll ignore. </span></em></p><p></p><p>It's not that I am not sympathetic, but my experience in the sobriety community tells me that the only answers we can provide that would be helpful are the tough love ones. We've consistently offered the (IMO) right answers, and they have been consistently rejected. OP needs to set boundaries, demand others take up some of the burdens, and explain that the give-take balance of the group is out of whack in a way that will not continue. That's it. Full stop. There's nothing else we can advise until they are willing to acknowledge this.</p><p></p><p>Yes, this is the kind of things we have been advocating you look into. I am glad to see you can publicly acknowledge it as an option. What else do you think you can ask people to explore doing instead of having you do it all?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Willie the Duck, post: 9336360, member: 6799660"] I agree with the statements of others similar to 'if a group can't handle a little break, it isn't that cohesive to begin with.' However, social momentum is a thing, and if you take more than a few weeks off, people do find other things to do (and might not come back). As a suggestion in that regard -- most gaming groups have a number of shared secondary interests that they can explore for short periods of time. Board games, movie night (revisit all the movies that got you into fantasy gaming in the first place), dinner and a show, one-off sessions of other RPGs (maybe one of those 2 page indie games), etc. If a group can't handle 2-3 sessions of doing that, then yes it really never really was cohesive to begin with. Or at the very least, it certainly is high time to say to this group, [I]'I've been saying this is unsustainable for years. [B]Now[/B] is the time to take me seriously. I [B]will[/B] be taking a break. There [B]will [/B]be changes when I get back (or the group can die). Start discussing/negotiating which ones you are more or less willing to accept (note that 'none' is just a vote for the group dying).'[/I] We're not supposed to make things about the poster. However, I don't think it does the OP any good not to know that their ongoing saga is indistinguishable from 1) a kind of self-enforced trauma akin to codependency addiction/factitious disorders/etc., or 2) someone unwilling to give up a burden, even if they can't handle indefinitely, or 3) not wholly factual*. The demands are unending, the player's are universally unreasonable, no quarter is given, the behavior is toxic -- but every suggested solution is always a no-go. [I][SIZE=2]*not a productive road to go down, so we'll ignore. [/SIZE][/I] It's not that I am not sympathetic, but my experience in the sobriety community tells me that the only answers we can provide that would be helpful are the tough love ones. We've consistently offered the (IMO) right answers, and they have been consistently rejected. OP needs to set boundaries, demand others take up some of the burdens, and explain that the give-take balance of the group is out of whack in a way that will not continue. That's it. Full stop. There's nothing else we can advise until they are willing to acknowledge this. Yes, this is the kind of things we have been advocating you look into. I am glad to see you can publicly acknowledge it as an option. What else do you think you can ask people to explore doing instead of having you do it all? [/QUOTE]
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