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The Untold Adventures of Fap Longwood & Friends!
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<blockquote data-quote="mikeawmids" data-source="post: 8004286" data-attributes="member: 6776411"><p><u>The Adventures of Fap Longwood #11 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)</u></p><p></p><p>Old Owl Well turns out to be a fallen watch tower overlooking the Triboar Trail and surrounding lands. A large, colourful tent has been erected amidst the ruins and the stench of decay wafts upon the morning breeze. The smell gets less and less bearable as the heroes approach the tower.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Pass me the orc smellies.”</strong> Fap asks.</p><p></p><p>Horatio proffers the sack of heads. They stink.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Not those.”</strong> Fap snaps.</p><p></p><p>After dousing a scrap of cloth in perfume and tying it around his face, Fap scouts ahead. A dozen rotting corpses have been packed into the tower like sardines in a tin. Big black flies crawl over their waxy flesh. Unlike most dead bodies Fap has seen since the start of his adventuring career (and there have been a few), these lively fellows are still shuffling around aimlessly.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Blurk!”</strong> Fap groans. He heads back to warn his friends about the zombies.</p><p></p><p>The party plan to advance within 30ft of the tower, pause for Brian to implore his deity to turn undead, then mop up any stragglers who don’t get the message. Mara produces a Scroll of Fireball and reads aloud the words of power inscribed upon the parchment. There is a deafening explosion and charred zombie bits rain down from the sky. Embers fall upon the roof of the pavilion and the colourful canvas catches fire.</p><p></p><p>A tattooed man in crimson robes bursts out of the burning tent. Mara recognises from the strange markings on his skin that this man is a Red Wizard, a powerful order of Magi from the distant land of Thay. Brian doesn’t care – this guy is clearly a necromancer and Brian <em>hates</em> necromancers!</p><p></p><p><strong>“What is the meaning of this?”</strong> the Red Wizard shouts, <strong>“You burn my house, disturb my research and attack my servants? Vandals!! Delinquents!!”</strong></p><p></p><p>The magi commands his zombie minions to stand down and extinguishes the burning tent with a Cone of Cold. His name is Hamun Kost and he is researching ancient lore amidst the ruins of Old Owl Well.</p><p></p><p><strong>“My servants and I are not hurting anyone.”</strong> Kost argues, <strong>“I had some trouble with a mob of truculent orcs, but I will deal with them myself should they return.”</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>“Too late.”</strong> Horatio says, producing the sack of heads.</p><p></p><p>Kost offers to buy the contents of the sack for 100gp but Brian vetoes the deal. He really hates necromancers and all that they stand for!</p><p></p><p>Kost offers the party a magical Ring of Protection if they assist his research. He wants them to act as mediators between himself and a “hysterical” banshee haunting the abandoned village of Conyberry. He needs information in the ghost’s possession, but his last attempt to compel her compliance ended badly. Kost wants the name of the wizard who raised the tower at Old Owl Well and will surrender the ring if the party come back with that information.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mikeawmids, post: 8004286, member: 6776411"] [U]The Adventures of Fap Longwood #11 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)[/U] Old Owl Well turns out to be a fallen watch tower overlooking the Triboar Trail and surrounding lands. A large, colourful tent has been erected amidst the ruins and the stench of decay wafts upon the morning breeze. The smell gets less and less bearable as the heroes approach the tower. [B]“Pass me the orc smellies.”[/B] Fap asks. Horatio proffers the sack of heads. They stink. [B]“Not those.”[/B] Fap snaps. After dousing a scrap of cloth in perfume and tying it around his face, Fap scouts ahead. A dozen rotting corpses have been packed into the tower like sardines in a tin. Big black flies crawl over their waxy flesh. Unlike most dead bodies Fap has seen since the start of his adventuring career (and there have been a few), these lively fellows are still shuffling around aimlessly. [B]“Blurk!”[/B] Fap groans. He heads back to warn his friends about the zombies. The party plan to advance within 30ft of the tower, pause for Brian to implore his deity to turn undead, then mop up any stragglers who don’t get the message. Mara produces a Scroll of Fireball and reads aloud the words of power inscribed upon the parchment. There is a deafening explosion and charred zombie bits rain down from the sky. Embers fall upon the roof of the pavilion and the colourful canvas catches fire. A tattooed man in crimson robes bursts out of the burning tent. Mara recognises from the strange markings on his skin that this man is a Red Wizard, a powerful order of Magi from the distant land of Thay. Brian doesn’t care – this guy is clearly a necromancer and Brian [I]hates[/I] necromancers! [B]“What is the meaning of this?”[/B] the Red Wizard shouts, [B]“You burn my house, disturb my research and attack my servants? Vandals!! Delinquents!!”[/B] The magi commands his zombie minions to stand down and extinguishes the burning tent with a Cone of Cold. His name is Hamun Kost and he is researching ancient lore amidst the ruins of Old Owl Well. [B]“My servants and I are not hurting anyone.”[/B] Kost argues, [B]“I had some trouble with a mob of truculent orcs, but I will deal with them myself should they return.” “Too late.”[/B] Horatio says, producing the sack of heads. Kost offers to buy the contents of the sack for 100gp but Brian vetoes the deal. He really hates necromancers and all that they stand for! Kost offers the party a magical Ring of Protection if they assist his research. He wants them to act as mediators between himself and a “hysterical” banshee haunting the abandoned village of Conyberry. He needs information in the ghost’s possession, but his last attempt to compel her compliance ended badly. Kost wants the name of the wizard who raised the tower at Old Owl Well and will surrender the ring if the party come back with that information. [/QUOTE]
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